f u j i k o m a

Movies: The last boy scout August. 15. 01
Posted by Brillant Khris at 7:02pm

The Last Boy Scout (1991)

Bruce Willis - Joe Hallenbeck
Damon Wayans - Jimmy Dix
Halle Berry - Cory (isnt in the movie that much but she rules)

now the other cast that no one cares about:

Chelsea Field - Sarah Hallenbeck
Noble Willingham - Sheldon Marcone
Taylor Negron - Milo
Danielle Harris - Darian Hallenbeck
Bruce McGill - Mike Matthews
Chelcie Ross - Senator Baynard

Directed By:

Tony Scott

First, I was going to give this movie a bomb review. But after reading from some other reviews preferably Roger Ebert(who I dont think is the best reviewer of movies fyi, I often disagree with him). Im sort of having second thoughts. Okay where to begin?

Lets say its 2 AM. And you are at you're fat friend's house adn his parents/little brothers are asleep so you cant jam out to DDR. So you might as well watch a movie. And due to boredom what do we pick? The Last Boy Scout. Why you ask? Hey there is nothing wrong with Damon Wayans and Bruce Willis. I love Bruce Willis for great work like "The Fifth Element" "Die Hard"(all 3) and "Unbreakable". I've known Damon Wayans for "In Living Color" and "Blank Man". So big action part comedy/comedy actor duo. What can go wrong? Hahahah yeah really what can?

Bruce plays Joe Hallenbeck who is a really cocky private detective sorta like John Mclane from the Die Hard movies ^_^.

Damon plays Jimmy Dix. A former allstar pro football quarterback who was banned from the league due to gambling.

Well the movie starts off. And me and my fat friend who will from now on go by my movie lackie, Pheobus. ASSUMED that this would be like a kickass Die Hard-ish movie. So it starts off with this ANNOYING intro which is like an intro to a football game. Like cheerleaders and some guy singing about football. I dont care what the guy is singing but I think it was something like "FRIDAY NIGHT! WHAT A GREAT NIGHT FOR FOOTBALL!" thats funny. So they are interviewing this like owner about how the team is doing. And the interviewer is none other than Lynn Swann. Shibby! So then they go into a half time locker room. And some guy some football running back Billy Cole is sitting there and he gets a phone call. And the call goes "You must win this game or you are done." So its like the last play. They give Billy Cole the ball. And then the running back is about to get tackled then suddenly wham! He pulls out a gun and guns down the opposing team! WOAH! Now. He stands there everyone looki!
ng at him in shock. Then he just says, "Aint Life a bitch"? and blows his brains out.

Roger Ebert said this about the scene," The Last Boy Scout opens with a sequence of such sudden and unexpected violence that the audience is stunned into uneasy silence"

Uhm like I said. I usually That scene did not leave me or Pheebo in shock at all. We were just laughing and saying, "I bet thats actually legal!"

Yeah so Dix and Hallenbeck meet because Hallenbeck was uhm hired to protect this exotic dancer named Cory played by Halle Berry ^_^. She even dances in a thong WOO HOO! Cory is Dix's girlfriend and also a prostetute and all. But then suddenly from out of nowhere, Cory is driving home with Hallenbeck and Dix driving behind when a car suddenly crashes with her. She gets out and argues then she gets shot about 40 times buy dudes with machine guns. Leaving Halle with about 10 minutes into the movie. Hey not bad. And she's even one of the main characters. Seriously if Im not Bruce or Damon I'd do anything to get out of this film. And plus seeing Halle in a thong. BONUS! BWA HHAHAA.

Weird Dialogue. I mean Bruce and Damon do a great job. But everyone else just blows. Especially Hallenbeck wife and daughter. ugh.

They begin to crack down on about the murder of Cory. And realize that she was blackmailing the corrupt owner of the former football team that Dix used to play for. So thats why she was killed.

Are you lost. Because so am I? Believe me this movie makes NO SENSE and has no flow whatsoever. Its just a Saturday night sit back and laugh.

Although once in a while like there are some seriously funny parts. Like this nerdy guy and this big guy kicks Hallenbeck and Dix in the balls. And Dix screams out, "I'VE JUST BEEN BEAT UP BY THE INVENTOR OF SCRABBLE!"

Also the corrupt owner is like trying to blackmail the senator into legalizing gambling in professional sports. The Senator too is corrupt. Hallenbeck used to be a secret service worker for him and like he was beating up some hooker so Hallenbeck sticks him in the jaw...whatever.

One character later on gets introduced who's the owner's main hitman, Milo. He talks so funny. I dont know why or anything. I just love Milo. His acting is so bad! And he is really funny. To this day me and Pheobus still imitate Milo.

Well so bla bla bla. I dont really want to say the ending but I guess I'll just say the rest of the movie. Ok I will have to spoil one thing tho. If you plan on seeing this movie (which I highly doubt you do) please turn away now.

Alright. One scene that prolly saves the movie is that when they are in the owner's office all up at gunpoint. Dix is armed with like these shotgun shells called "shredders" that like explode right after you fire them. So like the owner wants the 6 million and Dix shows one of the shells making the owner I think his name was uhm Sheldon, think that the shell is a key. He then throws the key into a lit fireplace and then says arguably the WORST movie line I've ever heard

/Jimmy Dix in his girlish voice/: But those keys are plastic.... the kind that...SHRED!!!

Big explosion he then escapes. That line made me want to slap myself then proceed to pull the DVD out of the PS2 and smash it into itsy bitsy pieces But trust me. If you EVER hear that line you would want to do the same.

But that line is compensated when Milo is going to shoot the senator during the big football game and then Dix throws a football at the senator not only breaking his nose but taking the bullet to. That part was pretty funny. And then a Bruce Willis moment of zen when him and Milo fight on top of the stadium during the football game. Well anyways from out of NOWHERE and I mean NOWHERE comes a huge helicopter. Milo gets thrown over Milo dies. He gets chopped up by the copter blades. And the crowd is all in shock over this cuz they dont know what the hell is going on. And what does Bruce Willis do? He saves the movie of course. He dances a jig. ROTFLMAO He dances a jig right up there on top of the stadium. Man oh man. You see. Thats what saves the film right there. Thats Bruce Willis style. He's the guy that will have you sitting there all tightened up cuz its a serious film and then suddenly do something like, "Man I need a smoke" or "You got any aspirin?" or he'll prolly dance the jig!

In conclusion. If you like football. If you like no plot. If you like Damon Wayans and Bruce Willis trying to save a film with comedy and action tied together. If you like Die Hard John Mclane style. And Halle Berry in a thong. Then you might just like the last boy scout.

But the film is loaded with violence, cussing, cussing 12 year olds, and degrading women. And may I add a plot that will have you scratching you're head saying "what the hell?" but seriously. For a good laugh over at my friends I always either say,

"These keys are plastic...the kind that SHRED!!!"

or I try to do my best and dance a jig while doing my sorry excuse for an AM-3P trick double freestyle routine.

Why did I choose to review this movie? Well cuz there are so many I've seen and have truly known. But when I think of senseless plot I want to make fun of. I think of this film.

Dont rent it. Dont buy the DVD.

I suggest you ONLY see this movie when its 2 am and you cant DDR.

Khrissy-out. later